So, people were asking what happened to make me unfollow some of the “girls” that I am usually associated with, girls I am usually grouped with on Twitter and actually- to tell you the truth they were also girls I pretty much considered “real” friends! So much so that I gave them my real cell number (and they gave me theirs as well) I was even considering meeting one of them! You know I tell you my thoughts, I always do, so this is nothing new and I will continue to tell you my thoughts, I am never asking you to agree with my personal opinion or subscribe to MY way of thinking but since you are all a part of me in a way ( a part of my life since I do share my life with you) I share my feelings without reservations.
For as long as I can remember I have had pretty strong convictions about what I believe is right and wrong but at the same time, I believe that humans are imperfect and life is imperfect so I never expect too much from anyone and I never judge someone SOLELY by what they do, I always give them a fair shot at proving that though they may do things that I don’t agree with… they are a person of substance or at least a nice person that I would wish to associate with! However, as soon as someone reveals a side to them that does not sit right with me I immediately think about whether this person is worth being in my mind, my life, etc b/c life is very short and I like to fill my moments with things that are positive and people that will bring me up and not tear me down. (I want to preface this with: I have friends that are nude models, porn stars, strippers etc some of which I have known my whole life and love with all my heart, some I have just recently met but that I think are amazing people and are so sweet to the core I would stick up for them no matter what they did!) However, recently I have been thinking about how I felt about girls that get naked or expose their bodies on Twitter for money. At first I was really appalled by it but then one of them started following me and I was not sure what to think? I said to myself “look, give this girl a chance, you don’t know her story, she may be a very nice person that for whatever reason thinks she has to do this for attention, to feel better about herself or because she really needs the money.” So, I was torn- between what I think is right and following someone (and in essence supporting them) even though I did not agree with what they were doing.
Why follow? why not let her just follow me? well, I wanted to feel connected enough to her that I could truly get a chance to know her because I am a curious human being, most of us are, that is why I got a degree in psychology because I like to understand people and how their minds work so that I can better understand them without being judgmental at first glance. Then, a few more girls that were her friends began following me too and I started to realize that “their” followers began following me as well, at first this seems wonderful right? gaining followers, gaining hot girls as friends, but in the back of my mind I was a little worried that the type of people that followed them were looking for one thing and one thing only- girls that provide the type of content to “get them off!” I don’t provide this content. Nor will I ever apologize for not thinking it’s OKAY to expose my body in that way.
Number one: I could never speak my mind when they were following me because I am not out there to offend anyone but I knew if I was truthful it would hurt them. I am not a guy number two so the type of content filling my timeline was starting to get to me- every few tweets was “buy this video”, “look at my nude pics for $”, “Donate to my “cause” which was usually some unnecessary item that these girls used their bodies to gain. I began to become more than appalled, I started to get disgusted, irritated, upset and guilty for aligning myself in this group of people. Then, my followers who most likely began following me because they saw me on their timelines, #FF’s, etc were making rude comments on my content! For starters, some would comment “boring” on my videos, say “now do this same pose naked”, “Show us more skin.” NO! I won’t so go away. UNFOLLOW please! because you are not the fan I want! Unless you are willing to understand that I came online, on Twitter for FUN! I came here initially to promote my band, to capture this URL of my name so that in case I wanted to I could use Twitter and I would have my name as my URL, I came on here to show my life and look at others, to laugh, to be entertained but I did not come on here to SHOW YOU MY BODY! especially not for money and I never would! I even used to get emails asking me “why don’t you do something like ……….” and they would name this certain girl on here that makes sexy videos, etc. The answer is: because I have other goals. It’s bad enough that I like to be sexy, it’s bad enough I have a law degree yet I show the world my body in pics but it would be devastating to my loved ones, myself, and my employers who trust me enough to put me in their projects, if i were to become this type of individual. I have way too much hanging in the balance and most of all I don’t desire that type of attention! That is why I wanted smaller boobs! It’s not for me!
I am here to make you laugh, to make you smile, to show you my artistic-sometimes sexy pictures, to share my life with you, my journey, so you can watch someone grow, I will make it to where I am going and if you want to remember my path, how I got there and what type of person I am then please follow on! But, unfortunately you are not going to see me naked or see me in compromising ways. I won’t post videos of me in the bathtub, dancing in a thong, shaking my ass at the camera, or even making videos in order for you to pay to watch them! I make films, I am a professional actress, when my website goes up you will see all my projects, hopefully you can be proud of someone like me that did not take that route in life and maybe you will buy my movies one day or come to an event that I am performing at.
Once again I am not against people that decide that they want to do the things I don’t, I just rather not support it. So, maybe you are thinking I am being pretty harsh? Well, without going into details, I got to know one of the girls that I decided to unfollow and she was a very different person than what I imagined. She just wasn’t for me (and she is entitled to think the same think about me, she is allowed to not like me and she even agreed to me that we are just different people). Maybe it’s because I am not a guy and I won’t sit there and nod my head yes at everything that she thinks and says, or maybe it is because it’s a slap in the face to women like me who have worked so hard ( 7 who years of post-secondary school) to see someone using their body that way. I have choices, I have been asked so many times by some very big companies to expose my body! I could be making millions and that is NOT an exaggeration. Brazzers, Playboy, all have contacted me! It’s appealing at first glance! being offered $25,000 to start etc. But just like my favorite quote in “The Social Network” (ironically haha) “would you rather catch 13 small fish or ONE BIG ONE” It’s tempting to catch all the small fish because it’s instant money, gratification, celebration, praise, attention etc. BUT work hard enough and you will have over 1000,000,000 more of these fans (probably much faster too!!) much more money, much more praise and adoration and maybe, JUST MAYBE a little respect as well!
I am NOT perfect so don’t think I am going on some rant hating on girls that use their bodies for cash, I am NOT, I just don’t want to be grouped, compared, and judged against them. This is my Twitter, my life, and things I think are cool. I just can’t emphasize enough that I wish you all knew me better! That’s why I can’t wait to launch my site! I want girls to respect what I have done in life (and many do, I get so many precious emails from young girls that really admire me and that makes me smile), I want to discuss beauty tips, fitness, food, education, etc. I created a place for everyone- with sexy pictures, pictures of events, behind the scenes stuff at movies, at the playboy mansion ( yes I have been there but only invited as a guest to party and you see I am not judgmental it’s fun but I don’t have to take my clothes off) and I want people who enjoy and love acting to want to come to my site to see what many people don’t get to see- acting is my passion, I love being in front of a camera, I love the process behind every film, I love attention to detail and most of all I LOVE being someone else every time I am on a different set.
I promise you, if you give me a chance without pretense, a chance to show you that pictures can be sexy without showing it all, that women can be appealing without having to cater to a man’s sexual appetite online, that there is something more to being on a social network than RT’ing hot pics of chicks, that my world is fun- than maybe you will see that you can adore someone like me even though I am not the type of girl you initially wanted to amuse you online. I had to get this off my chest and I am glad I did because it was something that I have been torn up about for months! There you have it. Am I a bitch? No, actually I am not- if I were I would have never followed these girls, I would have blasted them online, I would have just judged them right away without a true chance for me to choose after contemplation but even if I had chosen not to associate myself with them right away- that is still okay! It’s a choice. I don’t have to befriend people that I don’t think are right for me. You shouldn’t either but don’t take my word for it- decide your own choices for yourself. Be a leader and the own leader of your mind, it gives you strength. That is how influential people develop a following- they LEAD and they think differently than others- so, I encourage you not to be afraid to do whatever it is you have been putting off- think with your mind and feel with your heart- then make the choice.
One last thing- if you are one of the girls I unfollowed and you have read this far, good, I am glad you did and I hope you realize that just because I made the choice I did, doesn’t mean I got to know ALL of you. I did not get that chance but I decided as a whole, in the big scheme of things that this was better for all of us because we are different. I thought some of you were really cool but I just did not think it would last so I made a clean break before I hurt anyone. That is not what I even intend to do but I felt like because I have a different way of thinking I would eventually upset you. I can understand if you are mad after reading this but it’s not a personal attack on you, it is something I had to do for myself. I hope you understand and possibly forgive me.
